Lust is altered state of consciousness programmed by primal
urge to procreate. Studies suggest that the brain this phase is much like a
brain on drugs. MRI scans illustrate that the same area lights up when an addict
gets a fix of cocaine as when a person experiencing the intense lust of
physical attraction. Also in early stage of relationship, when the sex is
raging, lust is fueled by idealization and projection-you see what you hope
someone will need them to be rather than seeing a real person, flaws and all
Pure lust is based solely on physical attraction and
fantasy-it often dissipates when the ‘’real person’’ surfaces
It is the stage of wearing rose colored glasses when he or
she “can do no wrong’’ .Being in love does not include lust. In fact, lust can
lead to love .How ever real love not based on idealization and projection,
requires time to get to know each other .Here are some signs to watch for to
differentiate pure lust from love.
Signs Of lust
- You are totally focused on a person’s looks and body
- You are interested in having sex, but not in having conversations
- You would rather keep the relationship on a fantasy level, not discuss real feelings
- You want to leave soon after sex rather than cuddling or breakfast the next morning.
- You are lovers but not friends
Signs of Love
- You want to spend quality time together than sex
- You get lost in conversation and forget about the hours passing
- You want to honestly listen to each other’s feelings, make each other happy
- He or she motivates you to be a better person
- You want to get meet his or her family and friends
Another challenge of sexual attraction is learning to stay
centered and listen to your gut in the early stages of being with someone. This
is not easy in midst of hormone surging, but it is essential to make healthy relationship
decisions. Here are some tips to help you keep your presence of mind when you
are attracted to someone. This need not pull the plug on passion, but it will
make you more aware so you do not go looking for trouble.
Four negative gut feelings about relationships
Watch for:
1.
A little voice in your gut says “danger” or
“beware”
2.
You have a sense of malaise , discomfort , or
feeling drained after you are together
3.
Your attraction feels destructive or dark
4.
You are uncomfortable with how this person is
treating you, but you are afraid that if you mention it, you’ll push him or her
away
How to recognize true love
Examine whether you treat the object of your interest as a person or a
thing. You care for this person even knowing his or her faults. You are
committed to sticking together even through the most difficult circumstance.
You can tell this person anything
about yourself, even if the truth does not flatter you, and you know that your
partner will accept you
Evaluate how secure you feel. You
know that your partner will stand by you no matter what, and you are prepared
to commit to your partner for the rest of your life.
Think about how long you have been in the relationship. You have known
the person for a long time, and you cannot imagine life without him or her
Observe
How sex affects your feeling.
After you have sex with your partner, you feel closer to him or her. For you,
affection and postal-coital cuddling are just as important as sex, although you
love to keep the flame alive.
Analyze the way that you are
thinking about the other person. Something funny has happened to you at work,
and you cannot wait to tell your partner. Alternatively, you have had a bad
experience, and you want to talk someone who will understand. If your partner
is the first person that you think about when you want to share your innermost
thoughts, then you be in a love.
Thank You !
